Happy New Year!

Well, the craziness of the month has finally waned, and I'm winding down the last few days of 2005 with my husband and kids. Sweet. I even went shopping three days in a row, lol.

I have nothing new to report, writing-wise. I have a few more tweaks to make on my AQ story, based on a few last minute readers. Then, off to the judges. I'm surprisingly non-invested in winning. Winning would be awesome, but it is the process that I value here. Plus, the story made the perfect winter holiday gift for my husband (that's why it was a secret). "The Jason Factor" made him laugh and contains a dozen inside jokes, including a main character that he found *very* familiar. I had it bound, with a cover designed by a graphic artist friend of mine. Thus I have my first book in print! Hee hee.

I've been working my way through some fantasy novels with erotic themes for inspiration. Research is good. I also have a list of recommended erotic romance to dive in to, but that requires more (online) shopping rather than a trip to the library, so I'm holding off for a while to give the budget a rest.

Overall, life is on the right track, peaceful and plentiful.

Here's to a prolific 2006!

Writing Front

I am not overly prolific. Rather, I focus on one story at a time, written in chronological order from beginning to end (I understand this is uncommon).

Here are my current writing "assignments":

--I'm in the process of editing and cleaning up the AQ story. Submission is soon. I'm quite proud of how it is turning out.

--I just broke ground on the Desdmona contest. 500 words feels limiting after writing 50K, so it is a challenge. I have the basics of the story firmly in line, but am unsure whether my lovers are both male or male/female. I just can't decide...

--I'm considering a call for essays titled "She's such a geek". Not sure if I will tackle that or not.

--I have two short pieces to write for my group. We are taking two hours out of one day and writing a bit of fiction for each. I got noon and midnight, woot. One will likely be about nursing a baby, the other may be about drug addiction. Those are my primary focus outside of the AQ story and the Desdmona story.

--There's still Triple X to work on, edit and generally "deal with" somehow. I've been leaving it to pickle for now. I love the story, I just don't know if I can sell it. I know I got my friend who isn't a big fan of sex writing to read it and she was very supportive, so we'll see.

I am having a blast with all my plans to write, now I need to buckle down and do it!

The Dentist Loves Me

Because I wrote him another giant check today. However, today the feeling is mutual because my tooth feels 1000 percent better. Plus, I look like either a pirate or a gangster with my temporary silver cap. The permanent cap is due in three weeks. Then, on to the other teeth. Sigh.

Speaking of my dentist, it is time for another hot yums installment. Check out this yummy guy:


B.D. Wong. My dentist looks somewhat like him, so life in the chair could be a lot worse! I found B.D. on Law and Order SVU, which also features the tasty Ice-T. I love that show...

Woot

I'm stoked. I got my first round of crit last night, and I got excellent feedback.

First of all, anything "negative" they had to say was right on, exactly what bugged me about the story along with extremely helpful fix ideas. Specifically, I have trouble with dialogue (lots of "he said, she said, he said filtering). They helped me find some other alternatives.

And everyone complimented it, laughed in the right places, and generally appeared to enjoy it. I'm very very excited about that. If nothing else, I entertained some folks.

Plus, they all said the sex worked well in context.

I'm all excited to work on it more now. I hate saying "it" all the time, but the title is a secret for now. I'll spill it in a couple weeks when I submit, potentially with an excerpt.

It's Done!

I finished the first draft of my AQ story, weighing in at a respectable 9900 words. Then I made the mistake of re-reading it right away. Man, I saw all the awkward parts and none of the good stuff. It took a lot of self comfort (and a bit of pre-editing editing) to send it off to the group for crit--I really was not proud of some parts. However, the story is fun, made me laugh to read it through, so I think I have something of value beneath all the stuff that doesn't work well.

It's funny, because I spent a lot of time learning to accept feedback of all kinds, lots of it negative, in training for my current career. I don't imagine this is any different. I guess I'm just an automatic worrier--will they like it? Will they think I'm a horrible writer? I'm the only person in the group who hasn't had a writing class or seven (or was an English major). I don't know where this urge to compare myself with others comes from, but I hate it.

I wonder if I can take out a hit on my inner critic. That's a story idea...

Pushing Through

Time to write is one challenge, what to write is quite another.

I'm at the point where the hot sex should be occurring between my characters in my story, and I am having a tough time.

I think I do better with an outline, at least a loose one. This story was a great premise without direction, so I'm struggling to find it a beginning, middle and end that make sense.

Blarg. But it's fun, so I'm hanging on to that.

Busy Week

We're entering the busiest time of our year. The fun starts with the December holidays (we celebrate a few), then we have three birthdays in January, one in February (my little one's first!), and anniversaries and birthdays in March. There's Valentine's, school, my work picks up as does my husband's. Things really don't slow down until April.

This week alone we have school concerts, school parties, work parties and tons of baking on the agenda. Just to make things interesting, somehow my wallet has disappeared. I don't know if it was stolen or just lost to the universe. Now I am worried about identity theft and automatic payments and credit cards. I have to replace all my ID--ever try to get ID without ID? It's not easy!

Of course, I have my own personal goals to meet as well. I've finally reached the sexy portion of my AQ story, then a wrap up and off to crit. I hope it is worth a second look by AQ! I also plan to enter a short story contest at Tell Me a Story, Desdmona. The 500 word limit will be a challenge!

I can't complain about life at all though. My family is healthy, my marriage is happy and the weather here is heavenly. Life is tough, but very good.

Yums part two

But first, a dental update:

Owwwwwch, I had the first half of my first root canal today. Ouch on the mouth and ouch on the pocketbook, but I know it will be worth it eventually. SEVEN shots of novocaine!!! I am apparently not an easy numb. That may be why I developed my fear of dentistry to begin with--I remember a lot of pain as a kid, maybe I just wasn't listened to. Anyway, once he got me all numb, it went ok. It wasn't bad at all. Half of my face is still numb three hours later, but everything is starting to ache, so I took a pain pill and expect a lazy day ahead! I'm just thrilled that I took that first step. He took a look around my mouth and said "oooooh" in such a way that implied lots of pain for me and a new Ferrari for him. Sigh. Someday, my mouth will be back to normal!

And now, for Mr. Yums of the day:

Steve Valentine, playing Nigel on the TV show Crossing Jordan.

My friend says that the way I describe my second male MC, this is who she pictures and I whole heartedly agree. He is geeky, smart, lanky and mad sexy. My MC doesn't have his sexy accent, though. Yum yum!

Yums

I suddenly realized I can go all googly over hot guys in this blog, woot! My first yums installment is the guy one of my main characters in Triple X is based on. Introducing Jian Ghomeshi! Isn't he delicious? He was one of the band members in Moxy Fruvous, a lesser known Canadian band (here in the States anyway).

As usual, I'm so jealous of my main character Abby, she gets to consort with this specimen whenever she wants!

For more about the band or the hotness that is Jian, check out the website:
http://www.fruvous.com/

We Now Interrupt This Blog

For a freak out moment:

Who on earth is going to publish me?

I wrote a book with no genre. Is it erotic? Yes. Is it romance, erm...well, there's tons of romance in it, my three characters fall madly in love and stuff. Is that the main motivation of the book though? Probably, kinda, maybe not. Is it more like some other genre? Not really. Fiction is such a broad label, but no other label fits either. It's romance, it's polyamory, it's suspense (sort of), it's even a little sci fi, if you stretch enough.

Arg.

Plus, it has lots of opinionated social commentary, which may or may not be accepted well. In this *particular* political climate, potentially very NOT WELL.

This may not be the book to make it, which is fine. But I wonder, can I write something acceptable to a reputable publisher?

And how can I be a good crit partner or get one when I've never done crit before? I want to, I've, um, read a lot of books. Heh. Not exactly a resume worthy statement. I'm worried about being accepted, being taken seriously, and getting good feedback from people I trust. Where do I meet people like that, anyway?

FREAK OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok, phew. Got that over with. Maybe it's just the dentist thing getting my panties all in a bunch.

I can do this, I can do this, I can do this, I can do this. I want to do this because it's fun and my life's ambition from the time I was five and wrote "The Scary Gost". I can do this.

The Dentist

Dear lord, I actually did it. I made a dentist's appointment.

I haven't been to the dentist in ten years, apart from the wisdom teeth removal in college. That was ok, because they put me under.

I've been through some crap in my life, so not much scares me anymore. I've learned loads about fear and what it means. I've had four tattoos willingly. I've had two kids by cesarean, and the most recent kid left me with an incision that opened twice and mastitis twice (and I did not quit breastfeeding even when my nipples bled). I'm not really that much of a wimp when it comes to pain.

And yet, for years even the "thought" of the dentist sent chills down my spine. I hate being so cliche, but there it is. As a result my teeth are a total disaster area--at least three have broken and I'm in constant pain. You would think that would have sent me in, but no, I learned to live with it rather than face my fear. I'm not the kind of person who runs from scary things, except in this one case. Even my husband didn't know how bad it was, because I was embarrassed to be so wimpy. Luckily, all the damage is in the back, not visible. From the front, my teeth are near perfect, white and straight. Always have been.

Now, one tooth has gotten so bad it is cutting into my tongue. That hurts, and somehow was the catalyst that got me on the phone, finally. I made an emergency appointment--not so much because I can't wait, but because I know that the sooner I get in and experience it, the less I'll be able to build up the fear and panic in my mind.

For now I focus on the positive--if I get them fixed, no more pain! No more carefully chewing to avoid the bad spots, no more extreme sensitivity to temperature changes in food (can't eat hot food then drink a cold drink, ouch). I'll be able to be proud of myself for conquering one last childish fear, and for braving the pain. And I'll be practicing the self care I'm always telling others about. Can't be a hypocrite, after all. And writing here kind of keeps me honest, coming out of the dental work closet, so to speak.

Sigh, it may not be sexy but at least I'll get writing fodder out of it, right? And if it's really bad, I'll have an excuse to do nothing but sit and write all day.

Flexing the Muscles

50 words:

First she hears the snick snick of the scissors from somewhere near her left ear. Nearly every sense is heightened thanks to the silk blindfold.

Second she feels the cold flash of steel on the flesh of her inner thigh. Her skin ripples with goosebumps.

Last, silk stockings slide away.


(Is goosebumps one word or two? Heehee)

NaNoWrapUp

We had our "thank god it's over" party last night and I stayed until 1 a.m. Good times.

Most of the people seem to be interested in starting up a writing group that meets weekly or every other week, which is good. They may not be erotica writers, but any help I can get is good at this point. Excerpts were read, and I enjoyed hearing everyone's work. Lots of fantasy and sci-fi, and few of us take ourselves too seriously, very important.

*Still* working on my story for AQ, it is fun to write but I keep trying to rush it, which is running me up against walls. Need to sloooooooow doooooooooooown.

I'm busy reading 8000 different writer blogs and trying to gather information, get to know people out there and basically sponge as much knowledge as possible from those that have been successful before me.

Lastly, I figure that I am totally justified in buying many titles from Ellora's Cave and other publishers--gotta know the market after all! So, my latest indulgence was Jan Springer's A Hero Needed. I liked it, super sexy characters. I hadn't read her other Hero books, so when I was halfway through and all of a sudden there were space ships and self-lubricating butt plugs I got a bit of a shock. "Hey," I realized, "this is set in the future!" Duh, Amelia. One thing I notice in a LOT of the romantica I read is the 'deus ex machina' quality--self-lubricating butt plugs, fantastically rich characters, conveniently placed beds, etc. I love to see how writers can remove common difficulties by simply creating some totally over the top solution. Self-lubricating butt plugs--I WISH! Hee hee.

Courage

I was perusing blog skins and came across this beauty. I decided she had to be the herald of my author blog--without courage this ship is going nowhere fast!

I like her, she's bold and beautiful and all fairy like.

I sent off Triple X to two trusted friends who will probably have more to say than "oh it was good". One already pointed out that I inadvertently named one of my MCs after a New Kid on the Block--bwahahahahaha! Ah, what your subconscious will vomit up when writing under pressure. He'll be getting a new last name in revisions!

Still working on the Amber Quill story. I find that when I get stuck, it usually means I'm going too fast, trying to get the story out too quickly. That's where I'm at now, so I'm headed back to rework a bit.

Busy busy!

Amber Quill Contest

Talk about intimidating, but I am considering entering the Amber Quill Heat Wave contest in January. That means I have to finish up the story I'm working on now, edit and get it read over and some major help on it by Jan. 1 for submission. Crazy.

Apparently, they don't even take submissions apart from this one contest. Eh, can't hurt to try, right? I mean, the more writing I do the better, the more practice I have the better, and the more rejected I get the tougher I'll be over all.

Actually, I'm not too worried about rejection. I think my training for my "day job" has a lot to do with it--if I can survive being called a 'cunt' by a raging drug addict I've spent the last few months busting my ass for, I can survive some editor telling me I have more to learn about writing!

I'm more worried about getting my writing under control, rather than the meandering stuff I've always done for my own amusement. Practice practice practice and good crit partners, I'm told.

Here's to crazy ideas!